Prize Possession
James 1:18
The concept of First Fruits can be compared to showing off. When growing a garden, the first blooms are, many times, the best. God, in His instructions about the tithe, commands me to give of my First Fruits. The first-born is often the pride and joy of their Father. In the same way, God boasts about me. He has set me apart as a sort of First Fruits. I am His Pride and Joy.
It was of His own will that He gave us birth [as His children] by the word of truth, so that we would be a kind of First Fruits of His creatures [a prime example of what He created to be set apart to Himself—sanctified, made Holy for His divine purposes].He spoke me into existence; by His Word He created me. I am, as the Amplified Version explains, a prime example, to be set apart to Himself. He thinks so highly of me that He planned from the beginning to have me by His side. To do whatever it takes to ensure that I will be with Him in eternity.
Too many days I have a real hard time believing that for me. For you maybe, but not for me. I’m not sure what it is. I can see that He’s given me talent and others confirm it. I’m reasonably ok looking and kind and loving, but when it comes to believing that He loves me as much as He does you, the feelings in my body shudder. What is it that keeps me from believing, deep down inside, that I could be valuable to Him?
Even His death on the cross has me confused. When I painted it during service I bawled like a baby. More than once I found myself on my knees groaning in anguish at the idea that I put Him there and nailed Him in place. Dripping the “blood” on the canvas had me writhing.
I’ll tell you what I think it is. I think it’s that I can’t believe He would really forgive me. If He had been responsible for my brutal death and then rejected my gift of resurrection, I don’t think I could forgive Him let alone bless Him and honor Him. I think my best human thinking and inability to genuinely forgive completely prevents me from accepting His gifts entirely. I always seem to hold a little back just in case He yells – Psych! I think you might do the same thing, if only a tiny bit.
I’ll go one step further and compare what Jesus said to what I feel. Remember Him saying that if I don’t forgive His Father can’t forgive me. I think that’s an unfortunate translation. God can do anything, it’s me that has limited abilities. If I’m completely loaded down with packages, whether Christmas presents or bags of garbage, and you decide to hand me one more, they’re all coming down. Not because you don’t want to give it to me or because you “can’t”, but because my hands are busy holding on to other things.
Likewise, if I insist on holding on to unforgiveness and the God of the universe is trying to hand me forgiveness, I won’t be able to grasp it. If forgiveness is a liquid and I’m holding a pitcher of unforgiveness, the result of combining the two will be a fluid that no one is going to want to drink. It will be tainted with bitterness and revenge. It will no longer resemble the gift it was meant to be. Is that the fault of the gift giver? Yeah, I don’t think so. I think this one’s on me.
Today, let me do my best to extend true forgiveness, clearing my conscience of old resentments, so that I can truly embrace the gift of forgiveness and believe wholeheartedly that He loves me completely and that I am still the apple of His eye. If not for my own sake, then at least those around me.